Make A Difference

I’m in a pensive mood of late: it’s common at this time of year, I know. The holiday season, the short days, the busyness of our lives and the coming New Year all cause us to reflect.

In my family, these last days of fall have brought both a newborn great niece and the death of my mother: the miracle of new life and the natural ending of another once again teaching a lesson of the cycle of life.

With this writing, I want to talk about neither birth nor death, however, but the days that come between. Birth and death are events common to all of us, and we can do little to change how either one comes about. The life in between is a different matter.
Is there a person in Bibb County, GA who has not read about recent abuses, both child-to-teacher and teacher-to-child? And, yes, bus driver-to child and janitor-to-child as well? Why do these things happen? Some say that the children are “bad;” others say the teachers, bus drivers and janitors are not properly checked out or are improperly trained. Perhaps there is an element of truth in each of these. I do not believe in “bad” children. I do believe that children can become incorrigible if NO LOVING ADULT offers them guidance. Teachers and other adults working with children need to be taught to be a major influence for good in a child’s life, by example. Their job is not simply to teach content or to keep order, but to be PRESENT for a child.

I had an algebra teacher in high school, Miss Mabel Thompson. She had a habit of calling her students “Love,” and so she was affectionately known as “Love” Thompson. I hated algebra and could see no practical reason why I should learn it, but learn it I did. The reason? I had such respect for Miss Thompson that I could not let her down. Yes, I had my own high standards as well, but I truly could not let Miss Thompson suffer the disappointment of my failure. She did not spend time analyzing her students psychologically or coddling us in any way, but she treated us with respect, held us to our best achievement, and looked at us with genuine caring. And she called us “Love.” We need more teachers and adults who had a Love Thompson in their lives, for people trained by her learned to emulate her. We need adults who can get and hold a child’s attention: someone who gives a child hope.

Why am I writing the Peacemakers article on this topic? Of course, all our Peacemakers counselors and counselors-in-training strive toward being the present, positive example I’m advocating here, but anyone with the interest can do it. And the world needs you to do it! Lauren Slater, in her book Welcome to My Country, quotes E. J. Anderson’s study, The Invulnerable Child, that some children manage to grow out of traumatic pasts when there is the presence in their lives of at least one stable adult—an aunt, a neighbor, a teacher. I was lucky. I had many such stable adults in my life, and I am better for it. I plead with everyone reading this column to be such an adult. Notice young people, compliment them whenever you can; encourage them. In doing these things, you will create a better world for the future.